August 4, 2011, I saw my African home for the first time.
October 8, 2011 there was a rat in our toilet. Some nice college guys came to rescue us from the rat, and on my way back up campus, I met them. Ndaba, Zach, Owen, and Andrew. ("I don't think that's the same Andrew.") (It wasn't.)
Invitations were extended.
5 hours later, a pizza party.
1053 days ago.
About 600 days later, we said goodbye, desperately hoping it wasn't for long, but not quite sure what the future held.
178 days after that, I watched him walk off a plane in Columbus, MS.
Our story is one full of numbers. Ironic, for such a lover of language.
14 days ago he asked me to be his wife.
4 days ago he got back on a plane to Malawi.
110 days til I see him again.
226 days til we meet in Malawi again.
4 excruciating goodbyes down, one to go.
3 Visa Applications.
7 time zones.
Countless plane rides.
Innumerable text messages.
Thousands of dollars.
339 days until the goodbyes stop, and we get to be a family.
339 days until we actual live in the same place.
339 days...
IF the paperwork goes through. IF the government says it's okay. IF we don't have any typos. IF we can afford all the fees. IF we have the timing right. IF the wait isn't longer than planned. IF the interviews go well. IF....IF....IF.
The if's are killing me right now.
I know there are lots of happy things to be said about trusting God and His timing and I just want to ask, when was the last time you planned a wedding with no guarantee you'll even be in the same country for it? Knowing you'll only get 6 weeks together, 6 months before-hand. Knowing you can go see him, but he can't come see you after that. Praying he'll be on the flight back with you, 2 months before the wedding, but knowing that won't be a given until it actually happens. Spending money on "Save-the-dates" and Invitations hoping there will be a groom present! Wondering if you should reserve two dates, just in case?
Anxiety threatens to overcome me at any moment. It's a new feeling for me. It doesn't reconcile so nicely with this new ring on my finger.
And sometimes, you don't need advice. Sometimes you don't need well-meaning reassurances. Sometimes, you just need a hug. Or a cry. Or a coke. Or a friend. Sometimes you just need to turn the numbers into words, so that they aren't so strange and scary. So sometimes, you write.
October 8, 2011 there was a rat in our toilet. Some nice college guys came to rescue us from the rat, and on my way back up campus, I met them. Ndaba, Zach, Owen, and Andrew. ("I don't think that's the same Andrew.") (It wasn't.)
Invitations were extended.
5 hours later, a pizza party.
1053 days ago.
About 600 days later, we said goodbye, desperately hoping it wasn't for long, but not quite sure what the future held.
178 days after that, I watched him walk off a plane in Columbus, MS.
Our story is one full of numbers. Ironic, for such a lover of language.
14 days ago he asked me to be his wife.
4 days ago he got back on a plane to Malawi.
110 days til I see him again.
226 days til we meet in Malawi again.
4 excruciating goodbyes down, one to go.
3 Visa Applications.
7 time zones.
Countless plane rides.
Innumerable text messages.
Thousands of dollars.
339 days until the goodbyes stop, and we get to be a family.
339 days until we actual live in the same place.
339 days...
IF the paperwork goes through. IF the government says it's okay. IF we don't have any typos. IF we can afford all the fees. IF we have the timing right. IF the wait isn't longer than planned. IF the interviews go well. IF....IF....IF.
The if's are killing me right now.
I know there are lots of happy things to be said about trusting God and His timing and I just want to ask, when was the last time you planned a wedding with no guarantee you'll even be in the same country for it? Knowing you'll only get 6 weeks together, 6 months before-hand. Knowing you can go see him, but he can't come see you after that. Praying he'll be on the flight back with you, 2 months before the wedding, but knowing that won't be a given until it actually happens. Spending money on "Save-the-dates" and Invitations hoping there will be a groom present! Wondering if you should reserve two dates, just in case?
Anxiety threatens to overcome me at any moment. It's a new feeling for me. It doesn't reconcile so nicely with this new ring on my finger.
And sometimes, you don't need advice. Sometimes you don't need well-meaning reassurances. Sometimes, you just need a hug. Or a cry. Or a coke. Or a friend. Sometimes you just need to turn the numbers into words, so that they aren't so strange and scary. So sometimes, you write.
