Hi friends! It's been a while, I know. There's been a lot of fun stuff happening since I last posted- school ended, we moved, I went home, and then I came back! My time in the States with my family was indescribably good, so I'm not even going to attempt to tell you about it. Suffice it to say that it was just what I needed. I love my family! It was great to be around my church again, and the food...oh man...the food.
Anywho, a couple weeks ago I got on that giant plane (with John Legend, mind you) and hopped the giant pond back to this giant continent of people with giant hearts (metaphorically speaking).
It's been beautiful. It's been fun, it's been crazy, it's been tiring, it's been exciting. It's been different, so it's been hard.
I hate change. A lot. I knew when I left that things would be different when I came back. And I knew that about both homes- this one, and the one I've always known. And I knew that change in myself was also inevitable.
I'm different. I will forever be changed. My heart will forever be split between two places on this planet. Africa- Malawi- will always have a part of me. Summer taught me that. It seems silly. But the human experience is a strange one. The already and the not yet...
And that's where I feel trapped.
Stuck somewhere between the already and the not yet... stuck in this place of constant change and confusion and chaos, where everything's spinning and I'm just trying to not get thrown off the merry-go-round (which isn't so merry after all.)
I know change is inevitable. I know I'll never be completely at home anywhere. I know the change that has occurred in me will forever leave me feeling a little lacking. I know that these feelings won't last. I know that this knowledge will last. I know that this post probably doesn't even make sense.
And I know I AM.
not i was. not i will be. not i may be. not i hope to be. not i used to be. not i sometimes might be.
I AM.
Oh, the relief that brings me.
An anchor...
Stability...
Home...
I AM.
Anywho, a couple weeks ago I got on that giant plane (with John Legend, mind you) and hopped the giant pond back to this giant continent of people with giant hearts (metaphorically speaking).
It's been beautiful. It's been fun, it's been crazy, it's been tiring, it's been exciting. It's been different, so it's been hard.
I hate change. A lot. I knew when I left that things would be different when I came back. And I knew that about both homes- this one, and the one I've always known. And I knew that change in myself was also inevitable.
I'm different. I will forever be changed. My heart will forever be split between two places on this planet. Africa- Malawi- will always have a part of me. Summer taught me that. It seems silly. But the human experience is a strange one. The already and the not yet...
And that's where I feel trapped.
Stuck somewhere between the already and the not yet... stuck in this place of constant change and confusion and chaos, where everything's spinning and I'm just trying to not get thrown off the merry-go-round (which isn't so merry after all.)
I know change is inevitable. I know I'll never be completely at home anywhere. I know the change that has occurred in me will forever leave me feeling a little lacking. I know that these feelings won't last. I know that this knowledge will last. I know that this post probably doesn't even make sense.
And I know I AM.
not i was. not i will be. not i may be. not i hope to be. not i used to be. not i sometimes might be.
I AM.
Oh, the relief that brings me.
An anchor...
Stability...
Home...
I AM.
