RomCom Problems

So there's this guy...
How many conversations in my life have started like that!
Don't get all excited, all of you matchmakers out there. This isn't Allison's confession of undying love for someone. It's not even a confession of a crush.  Sorry to disappoint.
But I've been thinking, and I think the Romantic Comedy genre has really ruined us girls. The guys in the movies are always so perfect, ya know? But I'm ahead of myself...

So let me describe to you what I mean.  Here's a scenario I (and I'm sure many others of you out there) have found yourself in. (Or maybe it's just me...)  Ya meet this cute guy, and a few weeks later, discover he does indeed love Jesus. A good start, right?  So ya get to know him a little better (easily done at college), and a fun little crush begins to develop.  Some time goes by, and you start to suspect he's a little interested too.  You know him pretty well now- you've been around him a good bit, seen him in different environments, and perhaps even had some one-on-one time.  Of course you've gotta share the spark with your friends, and you start thinking the whole thing over in your head.  As girls, our minds jump to a marriage and family place. (I'm rolling my eyes at how ridiculous we can be.  Just know that.)  And so begins the debate.

You've been heard your whole life things like, "Don't settle. He must love Jesus more than anything else ever, and he better treat you like the perfect little princess you are.  Make sure he'll be a good daddy, and if you ever see his eyes wandering, run away fast.  How does he treat his mother? Have you ever heard him say anything inappropriate?  Does he make you laugh? Make sure he fights fair.  How many girls has he dated?" etc etc etc etc etc.

So you start thinking through all these things.  Well, he's smart, he's cute, he loves Jesus a lot.  He cares about missions. He has some family problems, maybe.  Does that mean he's gonna be a bad dad?  What if his dad's crazy? That's bad news, right?  Well...that's the first negative. Let's keep going. He treats you really well. Maybe he forgets to open the door here and there, but he is very protective. You've never seen wandering eyes, but you know he thinks Beyonce's hot. Is that okay?  And he told you about when he used to mess around with porn. That's not great, hm...? But I mean, don't most guys struggle with that?  Well, I've heard him make some slightly inappropriate jokes with the guys. Uh oh...Maybe this isn't looking so great.  He always makes me laugh, always makes me smile....He doesn't bring me flowers when we fight. He doesn't come up with some cute song or poem for me every time I'm sad.  But he values my happiness.  He makes sacrifices for me.

And so it begins...the struggle...
Is he good enough?  Is he not good enough?
What if...
He's not always romantic. He sometimes forgets to text me back.  He doesn't tell me all day every day how beautiful I am. Sometimes he says the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Sometimes he's awkward.  Sometimes he wears this ugly shirt.  Sometimes he doesn't get my jokes.  Sometimes he gets unnecessarily jealous.  Sometimes he isn't Tom Hanks in "You've Got Mail" or even Mr. Darcy. Sometimes he isn't perfect.

And at this rate, no guy is ever gonna be good enough.

Now, I understand that my daddy insists the previous statement is true.  And I'm not saying at all that we girls should "settle."  Whatever that means.

I'm just saying...well...I'm not perfect. Sometimes I'm controlling. Sometimes I'm rude. Sometimes I'm mean.  Sometimes I'm ridiculously jealous. Sometimes I'm needy.  I struggle with habitual sins. I pretend to get jokes that are over my head. Sometimes I'm obnoxiously nosy.  Sometimes I am selfish and conceited and unkind and sometimes my love for Jesus isn't nearly as passionate as it should be and sometimes I wonder if it's even safe for me to have kids, seeing as how all I can cook them is mac and cheese, pancakes, and spaghetti!  I legitimately question things like, "what if I get tired of my children?".

So...
Here's to you, imperfect someone.  The guy out there who will put up with my ridiculousness.  The man who loves Jesus and still regularly screws up.  Hope you're okay with "settling" for less than perfect.  Hope you've made a few mistakes, because I sure have.  Hope you aren't Tom Hanks, cause I'm no Meg Ryan.  Hope we get our happily ever after, with tons of problems to work through, and lots of fighting, fair or unfair.  Hope Christ's love will get us through it all, and bring joy and laughter and a lifetime of imperfect learning together.