manna and meat

This has been a hard week.  I could list reason after reason after reason, and still there would be more. Difficulties seem to pile up here and some weeks it's just overwhelming and I don't know what to do anymore.  So the tears come and the praying continues and God patches up my stubborn heart that is so quick to doubt His plan and reminds me that He loves me dearly.  This has been a week of that. I complained and complained and whined and whined.  And I don't mean to say that things weren't hard- they were and still are. There are multiple factors that combine to make life difficult at this point.  But fyi- I'm in a third world country serving as a missionary.  Easy was never a guarantee. And that's okay.
Last night, after a week of harboring bitterness and anger towards people and institutions and myself, I finally let it all go. I was reading in Numbers about the people of Israel fussing in the wilderness about how sick they were of eating manna. Which- seriously- who wouldn't complain? Sure, it was a miracle from God that they had food to eat, but I can imagine manna got old pretty quick when it was all you were getting. I mean, who of you have eaten the same meal twice in this week, let alone every day for months? So I can see where these guys were coming from. So they tell Aaron and Moses they'd simply rather be back in Egypt stuffing themselves with fruits and veggies and meat! Mmmm...sounds delicious when all you've had is some sort of wafer for months. But wait a minute...Egypt. Weren't they oppressed there? Weren't they slaves? Weren't they dying? Yeah...not ideal. But they keep looking back. And that's what I've done this week. I've wished for a different time, a different place, different people, different circumstances. I've begged to return to a place where I'd be just as miserable, with a few conveniences that seem ideal but would truly only hold me captive and oppress me. God basically tells the Israelites he'll give them so much meat it's coming out their noses (seriously, that's what it says.)  He gives them what they want, knowing full well it will make them sick.  Because from day one, He's had only their best interest in mind.  NO, that doesn't mean their lives are easy! But God is with them.  He guides them through the hard times and hard places so that He can bring them to the place He has prepared for them.  He has great things for them! And the first great thing is that they get to be in relationship with the Almighty Creator God who has chosen them for Himself!  I think I'll probably get over the manna issue... I get Jesus!
This place is a blessing. This life is a blessing. These people constantly bless me. I am blessed!
No, it's not easy. No, it's not always fun. No, it's rarely convenient. But it's beautiful. It's wonderful. It's right. He brought me here for a reason, and this is part of the good He has prepared for me. And in the midst of it all- good or bad- I have Jesus. :)

So I now send you to this blog, not so that you'll feel sorry for all the poor folks in Africa and all the missionaries that got shipped over to help them. I send you to this post so that you may love and pray for us. So that you may know that blessings aren't always easy or obvious. So that you may be a part of praying God's healing into this land. It is a blog post from a family that lives next to the Kysers. They're not ABC folks, but their kids go to the Academy and they're able to give you a really great picture, through photos and words, of how things are in Lilongwe.  Pray for Malawi. And wherever you are, thank God that you have Jesus with you. Count those blessings (after all, you get to celebrate Thanksgiving soon...get a head start!)